I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish you could order shots online.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
