Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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