i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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