first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize