He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
