I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
