Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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