he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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