So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
