just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
