Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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