atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
