Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!

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