i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
