Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize