eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
