We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
