i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
