She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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