so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
