I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
