Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
