Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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