I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
