remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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