Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
