you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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