Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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