I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
nutella sex= disaster
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
