worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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