Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
