I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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