I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
