Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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