so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
