i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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