I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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