And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
