Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
