Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
