We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
