I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
