Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
