How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
