never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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