Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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