Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
