did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
