Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize