I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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