Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
that's an acceptable place to lick
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
and she was petting her beer can
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
