And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
