is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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