Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
