it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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