I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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