Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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