Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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