Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize