So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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