awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
