woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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