Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
