soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
