Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
