Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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