I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Terrible idea I love it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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