Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
