Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
