Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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