That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
